Hi. I haven't written here in a long time. I've kept a journal off and on for 32 years...but it is just for me. It was for remembering things that happened and writing things the kids could read later. I recorded what was happening in everyday life and what day flowers bloomed and I recorded the birds I spotted. I wrote a lot when Dwayne was laid off and looking for a job in the early 80's. I wrote a lot when my dad died almost 5 years ago. Usually I write to get feeling out so I can think of something else and sleep.I wrote when I had cancer in livejournal..7 years ago.That's when I started my account. Now I feel so lost without my husband I'm back to write again. When I think of him it's lots of old memories that come up. I can't believe that the young ,strong husband of my past is gone. It doesn't seem possible. It's hard to walk alone when you've walked beside someone for 35 years.